Grace; or Grief?

I am constantly stymied at the way Christians treat each other. Something that happened to a young couple I know the other day, brought to mind a passage in the Bible, about a woman drawing up water from a well.

Jesus is sitting by it, and to start off the conversation, He says “Give Me a drink.” She is shocked, and questions Him about the sensibility of Him talking to her, because they are in Samaria, and they different kinds of people. You know the story. He starts telling her a little about God, and then tells her to quit living with the man she's with so He can tell her more. So, she tells Him to get His own water and storms off to the same old miserable life.

Or the time He was choosing the men who would become His apostles, and He couldn't find anyone that was obedient to Him yet, so He just made some new people and used them.

Oh! And the time He was asleep in a boat, and the winds were so strong and the storm so violent it was going to sink the boat. The disciples were so scared, they woke Him up, begging Him to save them. He said “Why are you so timid? If you had any faith, you'd do it yourselves!”, got out of the boat, walked on the water to shore, and let them all drown.

I'm sure you're either laughing, or getting ready to slap me. You know this is all hogwash. Jesus never said or did any such things.

In the writings of John, he relates the true story of Jesus striking up a conversation with a very lost woman who was going about her work. He asks her for a drink, which leads to Him sharing the love of His heart to her. She is so excited, she takes off to tell every person she can find about Him. The men she talks to are curious and show up to talk to Him. He's sitting there. Waiting. Ready to love them and change lives.

In the writings of Matthew, he tells of his own story. About the Teacher that has been preaching, teaching and healing, stopping by his place of business, and telling him to “Follow Me.” Not giving him a list of his sins that had to be rectified so he could be discipled, but to be a part of something wonderful.

Also in Matthew, during that raging storm, in a time in when they felt they had no control, that they were doomed and their courage was melting inside, He asked them why they didn't have faith. But then He got up and took control of the situation. For them. He didn't need the winds to calm; they did. He did that out of love.

Are you starting to get an idea where I'm going with this?

I am putting in a “disclaimer” right now. I am not advocating turning a blind eye to sin, or saying we are not to exposed wrong doing to others so they have a chance to change.

What I'm saying is we have our goofy traditions and policies that keep us from reaching out to the lost, or backslidden, or rebellious, or whoever!

As a group, Christians are forgiving of nearly anything but a sex-based sin. Probably because we can see the results so clearly, so quickly.

I have seen a lot of men who are so addicted to drugs and alcohol they are at the end of their ropes, hanging on the edge of the cliff with their fingernails, and they are drawn into the church with compassion, tenderness, counseling, mentoring. I've even seen them given places of authority to “help boost their sense of worth”, while they are still struggling with the booze.

I have watched as abused women have been cared for, given money, food, jobs, whatever the need was, to care for them and their children. Even if they returned to the abuser over and over again, the leadership was there to try and help heal the family.

BUT. If you are a couple who are living together, who want to get married, and are asking for pre-marital counseling? You are not going to get it.

Can you think of any one who needs to be counseled in the rights and responsibilities of marriage, more than a couple of kids who have been playing house?

I'm not trying to be factious, I'm being honest. The chances of a couple who cohabitate having a strong, lasting marriage, is HALF of a couple who lived separately.

We're talking about people who claim to be Christians, who are in sin and rebellion, but are wanting to change things.

And we're pitching them to the wolves.

What are we telling a couple of 22 year olds when they come looking for help from a pastor, and he says, “Yes, I'd be glad to counsel with you. But, you have to not be living with each other.”

Did he make the drunk quit drinking before he was acceptable for being shared with?

Did we toss the foolish, confused woman out because she kept slipping back to her mean ol' husband?

If you have a rebellious, headstrong child, do you tell her, “I'd like to love you, but you need to change some things in your attitude first!” ?

Here's a 17 year old girl who gets pregnant. The 19m year old boy gets a better job, finds them a two room crackerbox to live in while she's finishing school online, and cleaning rooms on the weekends. They go to their church and ask for counseling before they get married when she turns 18.

Oh, he'll counsel them. But, they can't get married there. Why? Because they live together.

They are good enough to be told how they should be living their lives, but not good enough to be joined in the Lord's house.

Meanwhile, the two adults who are having a really nice wedding there next month, are waiting in the hall for their appointment. It's her second marriage, and his fifth. But, they are really going to make this one work, and they live in their own homes. They have sex in each others house, but they don't live together, dadgummit!!

What are we doing, Church?

Jesus DID say “What man shall there be among you, who shall have one sheep, and if it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will he not take hold of it, and lift it out? Of how much more value then is a man than a sheep! So then, it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.” Matt 12:11-12

“What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing...” Luke 15: 4-5

Oh, dear brothers and sister; dearest Church! We do NOT want to be this guy that Jesus was talking about in John 10: 11-13!!

“I am the Good Shepard; the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hireling, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, behold the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep, and flees, and the wolf snatches them, and scatters them. He flees because he is a hireling, and is not concerned about the sheep.”

Whoa.

Let's step back and judge ourselves a little. Are we hirelings? Or are we heirs to salvation?

If heirs, are we not responsible to the kingdom?

Wouldn't it be nice if we were interested in leading the lost in spirit into the path of Jesus Christ, and not so much in the path of human righteousness? If we quit picking and choosing our favorite sins to crack on people, and be more interested in mentoring repentance?

I read a story years ago from a man who had reached great success in his life. He had been raised with little money or opportunities, by his God fearing grandmother. As a child, he overheard chatter going on in the kitchen as she and other women were baking together. The topic of conversation was a young girl in the congregation who had “fallen” and was pregnant. They were planning what needed to be done to prepare the necessities for the coming baby. One woman was very harsh in her comments of the conduct and character of this child with child. He was impressed, for the rest of his life, by his grandmother's response. “I tell you what. I won't give her any medals, and you won't give her any grief.”

Come on folks. Let's quit giving out grief, and start handing out grace.

There's a young couple out there who need it.