Church Phrases

Church Phrases.

I hate church phrases.

What are they, you ask, a little tremor in your voice.

Church phrases are those neat one-liners we are all endowed with through ministry training, Sunday School, Sabbath School, Bible study, pastoral “repeat after me” stuff, etc.

But, we use this to help people, you say. Auuuugh! That's ridiculous!! I'm sick of them.

The reason I hate them is...........they ain't scriptural! They don't even make sense most of the time. They are dopey traditions we get saddled with usually when someone in charge has read another book of a third party's experiences with God.

One of the least faves is “Wow! God really showed up this morning!”

What the bob saget is that supposed to mean? Where was He? Hiding out in the wings awaiting His introduction? Eating donuts in the green room listening for His cue?

Where do leaders get the idea that God has to wait until we INVITE Him into our presence?

How do you correlate an all powerful, omnipresent Creator with someone who needs YOU to call the shots?

My thought has always been “HEY! Maybe YOU showed up; shut up; and finally listened enough to realize He was right there all the time.”

Next in irritation level. “God is a gentleman. He will never force Himself on you.”

Well. La-ti-da.

In my understanding, a gentleman doesn't give you enough rope with which to hang yourself. (Nice grammar, eh?)

The Most High God of Heaven can, and will, jerk you upright, hug you tight,slap you down flat, rock you like a baby, roll you around in a mud-hole, hold your hand in His, or shake you like a rag-doll if that's what it takes to get your head out your own stupidity and look at what He has for you. He will keep on and on, especially if there is someone bearing down in prayer for you, until you either get it, or you decide to shoot yourself repeatedly in the foot.

How about this snippet of soggy wisdom? “God never closes a door without opening a window.”

Oh. My. Head.

Who makes up this stuff?

Ever have God close a door?

Yup.

Ever run around like a chicken, trying to find that open window?

Yup.

Ever get totally frustrated with God because there wasn't a window, much less an open one?

YUP!!

My experience is when He closes the door, it's because you're not supposed to go in there!

Your two year old wants to climb the 20 foot ladder they're using to paint the house. You say “No!” and lock the screen door. But you open a window in the bedroom, just in case he really wants to climb that ladder.

What kind of parent are you?!

Why do you think God shuts doors, locks doors, slams doors?

To keep you from going though them, ninnyhammer! You wanna get out? Go the RIGHT door. Quit looking for an open window to sneak through.

Don't bruise the Bride.

Walk in your healing.

I got more!

What I'm trying say, as I stomp all over my friend's toes, is we have got to stop living “Christian” lives based on the latest fad of ministry. We have GOT to read the Book and DO what it says! We have got to have a REAL relationship with Jesus Christ and do what He did, does, and always will do.

How else will we stand, folks?

How can we love, if we are still reading a script?